


A Teardrop in a Pool of Bloodied Petals (One-sided UsUk + Ameripan Hanahaki! AU)

by LemonScentedRolePlay



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 2P England (Hetalia), AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bad Ending, Bittersweet Ending, College, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Fluff and Angst, FrUk fluff, Hanahaki AU, I'm Sorry, I'm a horrible person, M/M, Marriage Proposal, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Poor Arthur, Requested, Sad, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love, i'm sorry in advance, you low-key want to ship FrUk at a point but it never happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-03-19 09:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13701849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonScentedRolePlay/pseuds/LemonScentedRolePlay
Summary: One-sided UsUk + Ameripan Hanahaki! AU"The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated or to somehow wipe away all one's memories of their beloved person. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals."Arthur is a British man in his early 20s going to college in New York. He has good grades and is on his path to a perfect life (albeit probably filled with college debt) with a good job and great friends at his side. The only problem he's in love with his best friend, Alfred. Which actually wouldn't be a problem as they're both gay (Alfred is technically Bi, but that’s not important to the story), except for the fact the all-American dreamboat already has a boyfriend. An adorably small Japanese man named Kiku. This one little fact and the disease that come with having a one-sided love for someone, the Hanahaki Disease, has ruined Arthur's life.This book is the story of Arthur's journey dealing with this disease because he refuses to get the surgery to stop it. That stubbornness though may just be the death of him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare for heartache and sadness because in this book I turn an already sad AU that was supposed to be a prompt for me to write a one-shot and turn it into a full book/story where I torture quite literally everyone involved. That's right, this is my first angst full angst story.
> 
> One-sided UsUk + Ameripan Hanahaki! AU
> 
> "The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated or to somehow wipe away all one's memories of their beloved person. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals."
> 
> This is my first story in AO3 since I usually post on Wattpad. Go easy on me and I hope you like it. Sorry the chapter a will be kinda short and I take forever to do anything especially update though I'll try to update this when I update my Wattpad one hopefully once-twice a week.

**Chapter 1: Red and Yellow Carnations, Blue Salvias, and Yellow Hyacinths**

“The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated or to somehow wipe away all one’s memories of their beloved person. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.”

Arthur woke up and coughed up an assortment of flower petals speckled in blood into the trashcan next to his bed for the umpteenth time that night, his mouth tasting of dirt, the metallic taste of blood, and what could only be described as planty. Arthur sighed, nights where he had dreams about Alfred were always the worst. What only made these dreams worse, despite their pleasant nature, though was the fact that no matter what he tried on nights like these Arthur could never get the dreamboat of an American out of his head. He’d tried horror movies to try and scare it away, but most of the horror movies he owned were gifts from said American so they would be there for Alfred and Arthur to watch when Alfred came over. And if that wasn’t enough, during these movies his brain loved to supply him with comments of how Alfred would react or fond memories of how the sun-tanned blond had reacted when they’d watched it together before. If he did successfully scare himself though he often thought of Alfred’s promise to take care of and protect Arthur from any monsters, murderers and/or any other creatures of the night (or not of the night) that might want to hurt him because it was his responsibility as the hero. How ironic that that promise would cause him so much pain. Arthur coughed up more flower petals into the trashcan, this time Arthur recognized them to be red and yellow carnations.

**(Though I don’t bring the types of flowers up often after this chapter here are the meanings:**

**Red carnation- My heart aches, Yellow carnation- disappointment, rejection)**

After more coughing and reminiscing Arthur finally decided to get up and make himself some camomile/chamomile tea **(When you don't know if to use the American or British form/spelling of the word because you're American, the character is in America, but the character is British)** to calm his stomach or wherever the flower petals came from though he knew that wasn't how the disease worked. Perhaps he was making tea to try and calm his nerves, Arthur couldn't be sure why he was doing anything this late in the night/early in the morning anyway. Arthur cuddled up with his Build-A-Bear Workshop teddy bear Alfred had given him, the stuffed animal dressed in a red, white, and blue 4th of July outfit so Arthur would always remember who gave it to him, while he waited for his water to boil. As Arthur waited he couldn't help but wonder what Alfred and his boyfriend, Kiku, were doing at the moment... Actually, considering what time it was, they were probably sleeping. Though then again the next day was Saturday so Alfred may have convinced Kiku to join him for a late into the night movie marathon. Arthur was tempted to text the American and ask, but he didn't want to explain why he was up at this ungodly hour. Arthur coughed up more flower petals into the trashcan, this time Arthur noticed they were blue salvias and yellow hyacinths.

**(Blue Salvia- I think of you, Yellow hyacinth- Jealousy)**

Arthur drank his tea while sitting in front of the TV, watching _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ as it was one of the few things that had managed to successfully get his mind off Alfred before… Until he remembered the Halloween Alfred has hosted a Halloween party, as he does every year, and dressed up as Jack and Sally with his then-girlfriend. Arthur coughed up an assortment of flower petals and just sighed. He decided to change the movie to _The Corpse Bride_ , the main guy in that movie not being memorable or recognizable enough for Alfred to dress up as though it was still a pretty good movie. Arthur eventually fell asleep on the couch during the movie, dreaming dreams thankfully devoid of Alfred.  ****  
**  
**


	2. Chapter 2: More Than Just an Act

**Chapter 2: More Than Just an Act**  
  
Arthur sat at the table with his friends in their university’s cafeteria like area, spacing out as he stared at Alfred and Kiku, the two of them talking and laughing with their friends at another table. If he was being perfectly honest with himself they made sense together. Sure on the surface they were almost like night and day—Alfred being a loud, boastful, tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, Starbucks-and-McDonald's-lovin’ **(I didn't choose that, autocorrect insisted the loving next to McDonald's has to be lovin’)** American and Kiku being the soft, shy, polite wallflower of a Japanese student with raven black hair and almond brown eyes—but they really did compliment each other. They had so much in common as well though. They both loved anime, manga, videogames, cosplay, technology, science, and math. Alfred never talked over Kiku and always involved him in conversations while Kiku in return let Alfred be his social butterfly self, never holding the American back from anything that wouldn’t hurt him. They were always open to trying new things from the other’s culture and even spoke each other’s languages fluently as well as a few others.They were practically made for each other.   
  
What was Arthur compared to Kiku anyway? A pathetic British coward of a grumpy tsundere book nerd with a bad attitude and Hanahaki disease because he’s harboring unrequited love for a friend that’s already taken by someone far more desirable to and compatible with him than Arthur. Arthur couldn’t even bring himself to get the surgery that would cure his disease because that would mean also getting rid of his feelings for Alfred that he cherished oh so much, desperately clinging onto the hope that Alfred would maybe, someday, love him back with as much love as Arthur loved him with.   
Arthur felt absolutely wretched as he compared himself to Kiku, knowing he would’ve been coughing up a storm of petals if it wasn’t for the new pills from the experimental drug trial he was a part of. He’d been instructed to take the pills only twice every 24 hours and to think about the person he has the disease because of without restraint for the first four hours after taking them—after the half hour the pills took to take effect, of course—when the pill's effects were strongest, then slowly try to dial it back and record the times and how much he coughed up as well as take a picture so the doctors and scientists could analyze the amount of blood on the petals.   
  
“Hello? Bonjour? Earth to astronaut Arthur Eyebrows Kirkland! Can you hear me?” Francis asked, waving his hand in front of Arthur’s face as the Brit tuned back into his surroundings.   
  
“Yes?” Arthur asked, annoyed. “What do you want, beardy?”   
  
“Mon Dieu, so harsh. It’s no wonder you have no one to call your own with that attitude.” Francis commented that last part under his breath though Arthur had no problem hearing it.   
  
“Francis! You know that’s a sensitive subject for him!” Matthew, Alfred’s twin brother, and Francis’ boyfriend scolded.   
  
Arthur grabbed Francis’ hair and pulled, the Frenchman crying out “Not the hair!” Arthur ignored him. “I swear on all that is holy if you ever say that again I will shave half your hair off.” Arthur threatened.   
  
Francis whimpered. “Understood.”   
  
Arthur let go of Francis’ hair and half-heartedly began pushing his salad around his plate with his fork, knowing what Francis said was most likely true.   
  
Arthur gave up on his salad, not having ever really touched it, and decided to go to the library. It was far too nice outside for how he was feeling at the moment, he didn’t belong. The only place he truly belonged was surrounded by piles and shelves full of books. Arthur looked outside at the beautiful autumn trees with their colorful arrays of warm reds, yellows, and oranges, not yet fallen as it was only early October. He noticed a dead or dying tree without a leaf on it, waiting to be cut down, and couldn’t help but relate. He was nothing but a dying tree, soon to be cut down and uprooted, never to be remembered or noticed ever again.   
  
As the month of October pasted on Arthur was both getting very excited and very bummed out. On one hand, he loved Halloween. Witches, ghouls, goblins, spells, curses, jinxes, he loved all that stuff. On the other hand, though, he knew he would have to go to Alfred’s party and he was not looking forward to seeing Alfred and Kiku all lovey-dovey in their couple’s costume.   
Arthur was glad Alfred’s part was on the Saturday before Halloween as it allowed him to save his one of his pills to take just before he left to go pick up Francis, having been made the designated driver by default since he couldn’t drink alcohol with the pills in his system or really at all while taking a part of the drug trial. Arthur had decided to dress as a ghost, wearing a long white robe that went down to his ankles, white face paint, and white temporary color-changing hairspray. He’d decided to go for what he’d most likely feel like, at the party, a silent, invisible ghost stuck observing from the sidelines.   
  
Alfred opened the door to greet them when Arthur rang the doorbell. Arthur felt his heart skip a beat when Alfred bowed forward slightly and offered him a rose with that breathtaking smile of his. “Welcome~.” Arthur’s heart sunk as he Kiku walked up behind Alfred and he realized their couple’s costume was cosplaying as Tamaki Suoh and Haruhi Fujioka from the anime Ouran Highschool Host Club. Francis, Alfred, and Kiku began to talk, Francis complimenting them on their costumes but saying besides his hair and beard, he would’ve made a much better Tamaki. He was French after all. Arthur though, was in his own little-shattered world, feeling about ready to cry and throw up his dinner. He was stupid to think that Alfred loving and fawning over him could ever be anything more than just an act.


	3. Chapter 3: An Ominous Conversation

**Chapter 3: An Ominous Conversation**   
  
Alfred had always loved to play characters, always being one up for putting on a show, and made a very conscious effort to stay in character at almost all times. In fact, often times if he received compliments on the party he responded with, “Well I am the king of the host club, I would hope that means I can host a good party.” Followed by a wink that made girls and guys alike swoon at the very purposeful but not too noticeable pun. He spent his time doting on girls, some of the cuter gay and bi guys and Kiku alike—Kiku not minding as he knew Alfred was very faithful to him and him alone—unknowingly crushing Arthur’s heart that the American didn’t realize he held as he never came over to talk to Arthur, even in character. He was cute, right? Even as a ghost? Arthur sunk back into his chair, wanting to just curl up and cry.    
  
Arthur only started feeling worse as the night went on, jealous of all the cute couple dancing, kissing, feeding each other, and even making out in the corners of the room. Everyone was having a good time meanwhile Arthur sat in the corner, feeling like someone was ripping his heart out of his chest.   
  
Alfred began talking to someone at the nearby snacks table, the seemingly very serious conversation drawing Arthur’s attention.   
  
“I don’t see what you’re waiting for Alfred, you’ve been dating each other for two years now, isn’t that enough time?” the guy asked.    
  
“I guess, but it just feels so early, we’re still in college and that kinda stuff is expensive, you know?”   
  
“Yeah, but the earlier you do it and ask, the more time you guys have to save up together. All you have to do is get the ring and pop the question. If Kiku says yes you can save up together if he says no… well, then you’re saving yourself some time and can move on.”   
  
Arthur’s eyes widened at that last part, Alfred’s friend confirming his suspicions about the ominous conversation. Arthur was in shock for a moment before everything hit him at once. His eyes began to water as he felt himself beginning to break down. Arthur got up and began looking for a spare bedroom, feeling exhausted as his world came crashing down on him for the second time that night. If Alfred married Kiku it’d all be over. Any hopes and dreams of a relationship between him and Alfred would be absolutely crushed… Just the thought of it made him feel so sick he had a feeling he might not live to see the ceremony.   
  
Arthur made his way into a bedroom, changing the sign to do not disturb before going in. He locked the door just in case some drunk couple looking for a place to hook up didn’t read the sign and went to lay on the king size bed in the middle of the room. Arthur sent Francis a text saying where he was, that he was going to take a nap and to either get him up when he wanted to leave or ask Alfred for the key to stay the night there in the room with him. He wasn’t worried about sleeping in the same room or even same bed as Francis since one, Francis had a boyfriend, and two, Francis would never touch anyone without their consent, especially while asleep.   
  
Arthur put his phone down and got under the covers, slowly drifting off to sleep. Arthur woke up sooner than expected, but not where he expected. Arthur sat up and looked around. He’d woken up in a bedroom that could only be described as a pastel goth paradise.    
  
When Arthur looked back to see the bed he was lying in he was greeted with the sight of male that looked to be about his age and… almost exactly like him. The stranger had pink hair, freckles, wore all pastel and black, had crystal blue eyes with swirls of pink in them, and just all together reminded Arthur of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Arthur knew he should be alarmed at being in a different place with a stranger he’d never seen before, but for some reason, he felt strangely calm. “Who are you?” He asked the stranger.

 


	4. Chapter 4: Arthur 2.0

**Chapter 4: Arthur 2.0**

“I’m you, silly!” The stranger said as he smiled and moved to lay on his stomach, swinging his legs back and forth in the air.   
  
“But if you’re me why can I see you… And why do you look so…” Arthur was at a loss for words as he looked over the pastel unicorn vomit version of himself.   
  
“Gay?” Arthur’s second version offered.    
  
“No… Well, that too, but I was gonna say different. I would never wear any of what you’re wearing and is that hair even natural?”   
  
“Excuse me! I’ll have you know my hair is very natural, thank you, and I look different from you because I’m your ideal you!”   
  
“Um… What?” Arthur asked confused.    
  
Arthur 2.0 giggled. “For a book nerd, you aren’t exactly a quick study.” The new Arthur rolled over to lie on his back, looking back and up at Arthur. “I’m the you you wish you could be! I’m cheerful, polite, bubbly, can bake—cupcakes are my favorite—and cook, can garden, not a fan of drinking but not a lightweight, and a  _ psycopathickillerwithviolentandpsycotictendencies _ . I’m gay as heck, sexy, and not afraid of expressing it in my actions or clothing, which is something I know you would love to do, you closeted-crossdresser you~. I love doing that as well, though I hate cursing. Any questions?”   
  
“Um yes. What the fuck exactly was that middle part?!” Arthur asked, eyes wide.   
  
“First off, swear jar. Did you not listen when I said I don’t like cursing?” A jar with pastel polka dots and the words ‘swear jar’ on it appeared on the bed as well as a quarter in Arthur’s hand. “Second off, which part? The not a fan of drinking and not being a lightweight? Yes, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re a horrible drunk.”   
  
Arthur was very confused as he put the quarter in the jar, forgetting all about what he he’d been referring to when he’d asked his question. “Um, why did this just appear out of nowhere?”   
  
“Because you’re dreaming, duh! Why else would you be able to see me?”   
  
“I suppose that makes sense… What is your name anyway?”   
  
“Umm… Oliver, I guess.”   
  
“Did you really just forget your name?”   
  
“No. I came up with that on the spot! Isn’t it cute? I didn’t really have a name since you created me as a defense mechanism after practically passing out from the shock of hearing about Alfred planning to propose! I’m basically gonna be a voice in your head after this!”   
  
“What, so I like have schizophrenia now or something?”   
  
“Schizophrenia is more than just voices and I don’t mean to harm you, so it’s all good! All I want to do is help you better yourself for Alfred!  _ Andyouknowperhapskilloffkikuifthatdoesn’twork _ , but we’ll think of that as plan B!”   
  


“Um, excuse me?” Arthur asked, getting an uneasy feeling about this apparent separate second personality he’d created for his ideal self while trying to get Alfred to love him…  Though then again, if he ever had Alfred as his he would want to do everything in his power to keep it that way and keep Alfred from getting bored and finding someone new, so although it wasn’t likely he would ever become such, maybe an adorable, bright, happy Arthur or Oliver or whatever that knew how to cook and bake and was willing to literally kill to get or keep Alfred a decent way to go about it.   
  
Oliver giggled. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Your body may not even have the strength to do anything like that by the end of this.”   
  
Arthur’s eyes widened. “Thanks for the words of confidence… Anyway, what do you even want from me? Why am I having this dream and is there even a point to all this if I won’t remember it when I wake up?”   
  
“Oh, you’ll remember it, dear. I told you, I’m to be a voice in your head after this. My goal is to talk and coach you into getting Alfred to like you, but I can only do so much. I can make you look and act the part of Alfred’s own personal seductive little minx, but what he does at that point and if you’ll even let me is out of my hands. I can make you a figurative lake of fresh, clean water, but I can’t make the metaphorical horse that is Alfred drink. Understood?”   
  
Arthur nodded. “I guess… I can only hope this works."

 


	5. Chapter 5: A Time Before/Finding Comfort in an Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter low-key makes you ship FrUk because Francis is a good friend and just like... Well, you'll see what I mean when you read it.

**Chapter 5: A Time Before/Finding Comfort in an Old Friend**

Francis was woken up by a horrible coughing and soft sobbing coming from the bathroom, knowing all too well what was going on since Arthur wasn’t in bed anymore. Francis got up and out of bed, putting on his pants before grabbing a water bottle from the mini fridge and taking it with him to the bathroom. Francis was greeted with the sight of Arthur sitting next to the toilet, holding his head and crying while coughing up an assortment of flowers with the occasional sad laugh of bitter amusement at his own expense. It hurt Francis’ heart to see his childhood friend suffer so much like this, especially when he could, but refuses, to get the surgery that would solve his problem and end his suffering.

Francis walked over to Arthur, sitting on the tub’s ledge next to where Arthur was sitting. Francis gently pet Arthur’s hair as he coughed up some more and cried. Francis noticed the assortment of holly, purple hyacinth, yellow hyacinth, and willow tree flower petals Arthur had been coughing up but made no comment.

**(Holly- Hope, Purple Hyacinth- Sorrow, Yellow Hyacinth- Jealousy, Willow Tree Flowers- Sadness)**

After a few minutes Arthur’s coughing calmed down and he moved to lean his head on Francis' knee, finding comfort in his old friend. “S-sorry for waking you up,” Arthur said, a few tears still rolling down his face.

Francis began petting Arthur again. “It’s no problem sweetheart. Here, have some water.”

Arthur smiled softly and took it, “Thank you.” Arthur opened the bottle and drank from it. He and Francis may fight, argue and threaten each other most of the time, but it was times like these that he truly was thankful for and appreciate the Frenchman.

Francis took out a bottle of pills from his pocket, screwing off the top and shaking two into his hand before handing them to Arthur. “Here, take your pills so you can get some sleep.

Arthur nodded and took them. “S-sorry you keep having to look after me. It was supposed to be the other way around tonight.”

Francis shrugged. “I heard about Alfred’s plans and how he was thinking about marrying Kiku… I’m sorry about that, by the way. I’m sympathetic to how much pain you must be in, having to see Alfred so happy with someone else, but I can’t understand why you don’t get the surgery.”

Tears began streaming down Arthur’s cheeks. “Because I’m a stupid, naive, pathetic idiot that’s hanging onto a tiny string of hope that no one else can see, desperately clinging to the possibility that Alfred might love me one day… That or he gets married and I die, at least knowing he was and will be happy living and loving Kiku for the rest of their days.” Alfred coughed up yellow hyacinth petals into the toilet.

Francis sighed and pet Arthur’s hair. “Don’t talk like that, sweetheart. If you say you’re going to die and give up when Alfred gets married, you’re just letting it win. You have the opportunity now, me and Matthew would even help pay for it, just please, get the surgery before it’s too late.”

Arthur bit his lip before looking at the ground in shame, shaking his head. “I can’t… I’m sorry Francis.”

Francis just sighed, having already known that would be Arthur’s answer. Francis moved to sit with Arthur on the floor, hugging him sweetly. “It’s Ok… You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

Arthur just cried into Francis’s shoulder, occasionally coughing up flowers till the pills went into effect.

Francis pet Arthur’s hair. “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’ll even let you use me as a pillow like when you got really cuddly during sleepovers in high school.” Francis smiled softly at the memories.

Arthur smiled softly as well, reminiscing about a time before his disease and Alfred plagued his every waking thought. They both stood to go back to bed, Francis being the only one to do so successfully. Francis caught Arthur before he fell, picking him up bridal style.

Arthur blushed as Francis did so, the Frenchman carrying him to the bed with ease before laying him down. “Thank you… You didn’t have to do that, you know?”

“Of course, though it is easier to carry you than try to help you walk. Years of dealing with you drunk have taught me that.” Francis said, helping Arthur get under the covers before walking around to the other side of the bed and doing the same.

The two of them moved closer to one another, Francis wrapping his arms protectively around Arthur, the brit being much thinner and lighter than he was just a couple of month ago. Arthur rested his head on Francis’ chest, sighing softly.

“You should really eat more, mon cher,” Francis said rather quietly, not wanting to disturb Arthur if he was already falling asleep.

“I know.” Arthur sighed. “It’s just… I don’t like eating just to throw it up when I eventually cough up petals later. It just makes it worse.

Francis said nothing more on the subject, just holding Arthur sweetly, trying to ease his friend’s pain.


End file.
